Am I Being Unreasonable?
I get up every morning at 7am and make my wife coffee, get my little girl up and sort her out a bottle, get her dressed and pack her change bag for the day, I sometimes cook/make my wife breakfast too. I get my step-son up at 730 and make him shower, eat, brush his teeth, get ready for school, etc., then i drive my wife to work, vacuum her store, buy her lunch and drinks for the day as she doesn’t often get the chance to go out and get a drink while at work. Do the shopping for dinner that night, drive home, do the dishes from the day before, cook/prep dinner, do some housework, try and nap, looking after my little girl. I watch some tv most days, then I make my step son do his homework and additional educational stuff when he gets home, i get washed and dressed for work myself, make myself something to eat, drive to pick my wife up from work, she drops me at work i work until 10 or 11 at night, she comes to pick me up or sometimes i get a lift home, i have a bight to eat, make sure any washing needed for the next day is done, and make sure the kettle is full and boiled for the baby’s bottles the next day, then i go to bed. I work 6 nights a week, i have thursday off as the wife works late that night and i can’t.
When she gets home she is soo exhausted that she often naps and our 12yo cooks or helps cook/looks after the little one so my wife can cook undistracted. She wants to loose weight so has decided to start a diet program and has asked me to read all about it, find recipe and meal plans and cook/prepare them for her every day, she hasn’t tried the last diet plan she bought, and hasn’t watched the starter dvd for this one yet.
I mentioned this to a friend and the misses saw and had a go for implying that she was lazy and making me feel selfish and lazy myself. The only thing i have asked of her recently was to turn the ceiling fan off in the mornings and i’m still doing it 2 weeks on.
Life is abit on edge at home at the moment, mainly because of me, i have alot of emotional and psychological issues that i’m seeing a shrink for but still failing to cope well with this last 2 months, and i barely sleep/sleep very poorly. I feel really bad already for letting these things negatively affect our relationship. I feel selfish if i buy myself lunch instead of having something at home as we are tight for money at the moment, but have done really well for ourselves and come really far this last year so it’s just playing catch up right now, financially. The doc gave me sleeping tablets but i can’t take them as i need a good 8 hours for them or i feel way too spaced and incoherent, and as i don’t have 8 hours each night they are pretty pointless and on the few occasions i do get a lay-in when i wake up i feel as if i have wasted so much time already.
So i suppose my question is, with all this in mind, am i being unreasonable to ask her to know all about this new diet, what it entails and what it needs and ask her to just provide me with a grocery list for the things she needs, or to sit down together and figure it out on one of her days off?
I’m not as good a husband as i make out to be, i can’t give either kids the time or attention they deserve and i’m not always very happy, i stress alot. I love my wife, i think she is beautiful and amazing, and she has put up with soo much more than i can put simply, and always been there for me, but she takes it personally if i say anything about it. I feel horrible even bringing it all up really.
